User blog:KaiserLos/Spam Habe (FanFic)
Yo, KaiserLos here. Yep, bored again, but after I saw HypnoHunter1220's FanFic "Spem Habe" I thought I'd spoof it a bit. Just until chapter 3. Please check out some of the awesome FanFics i've read: HummelHunter's Changing Times Changing Lifes (sequel to the one above) Changing Worlds (sequel to the one above) HypnoHunter1220's Spem Habe And also, if you're reading this, check out my blog post named "Random monster run! Where anything can happen...!" Its in the FanFictions section SPAM HABE Part1 : Friggin Pineapples "Het dad, you think there's life out there in the sky?" A little boy asked. "Well, it would be interesting to know...probably a few Rathalos or a..." Suddenly, the sky turned a Grayish-Black. The sky around Moga woods spiralled, thunder cracked and lightning shot. "Dad, what's happening?" "I don't know son. I've never seen anything like this happen before." In a heart-beat, an Apple fell down from the sky like a rocket. "What the..." Dad asked. He looked up to the sky." Must've fell from a tree or something." Then a slice of bread fell, then a fish, then a cabbage. "Where the hell are these coming from..?" Dad was really confused, it's like he was gonna go unconscious. "Dad look." the little boy pointed to the sky and both saw falling food from the sky. "Wow! Now we're never gonne go hung..." Then suddenly, both heard a roar. "Holy..." A Rathalos suddenly appeared. "ROAAAAAARRR!!! GRRARARA!!! SNORT!" The Rathalos roared like an insane maniac. Before it was about to fire a fireball, a pineapple fell on its mouth and delayed its attack. "Let's get outta here!" Both ran for their lives. But the rathalos was able to spit the pinapple, and it hit directly on the boy's dad. "Dad! Dad. wake up!" No use, he was dead, and so was the Rathalos with the reason of death being a Fireball in its mouth exploding. "No! C'mon dad! Wake up!" The boy slapped his dad's face in attempt to wake him up. The he got hold of the fish that fell from the sky and did the same. 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...." *cough* *cough* "NOOOOOOOOO...!" Part2 : Spam Habe The boy's father's funeral followed after he told the village people that there were tons of food in the forest. (Okay, so I'm the boy.) "Why!? Why did he have to go this way!? WHY WAS HE HET BY A PINEAPPLE?! CURSE YOU SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS AND YOUR HOUSE!." The boy's mom asked. "Hit by a Pineapple...by a Rathalos." Some of the villagers murmured. "A pineapple..." "A Rathalos shot a..." "FOOD..." The village chief stood up and announced: "Be cautious! Be wary of flying wyverns...and falling food from the sky?" Don't worry, that event won't happen evar again for another few millenia. The chief turned to the boy's mom. "I'm sorry for what happened." "Don't be." she replied. She IS sad. She went back to the house finding out I (in child form) is still crying. She took me in her hands and said: "Spam Habe..." "What does THAT mean???" "I dunno. Probably means 'have spam" To be honest, that was the weirdest thing mom ever told me. Part3 : Baby Kut-ku Life was pretty down-under. But i got over it after a few days. Life was simple in the village. We gather food, help eachother, etc. For some reason, we lived in an island some distance from the village. I didn't know why, but in the future, it would come in handy. I remember that there was an aquatic monster wreaking havoc over the island. Something called... uh... La...La...uh...I furgot what its called but i call it "Larry." Larry, the sea monster. The chief had called a hunter to aid in the village, and to take down that Lagiacrus. I was shy around him (no, I'm not gay) he looked all tough and scary, he has a gigantic MOLE on his face. And it has hair on it. But he's really a nice guy, even though he scares the crap outta me. remember lending him some whetstones when he had arrived, and he kindly thanked me. That's when it hit me. Dad said "Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal in Pokke..." no, that's not it "It is known some Ludroth are gay..." nope "...but first, think about the people here who need your help." Ah, that's it. A cool way i could help people: hunting savage beasts that ran amock in the wilderness. Somehow, monsters where really cool...except for some (*cough* Plesioth *cough*) When I was 11 years old,had a pet Kut-Ku in the farm. You can imagine the havoc it caused, but actually, it was a mini Kut-Ku. It was rather playful and friendly, but it actually ate a few kelbis in the chief's farm and he ordered me to set it free. "That's it! I'll be a hunter." I made a wooden sword and shield to practice with. I would occasionally (by that I mean frequently) fall down when i strike. My hope was starting to come out into the open. @uthor's notes: Pretty corny I guess. But again, I got this out of boredome so don't blame me. Sincerely--KaiserLos 10:45, January 5, 2011 (UTC) Category:Blog posts